[ This is wrong, this is-- No. No. Ardea shouldn't have to bear this burden, the guilt that Eirwen feels she so rightly deserves. It's not Ardea's fault! Far from it! Everything would have worked out, would have been normal had she not restrained herself.
Eirwen pulls Ardea into a hug, a tight one. She holds her close, as close as she can, and Eirwen's shaking so badly it comes through in her voice. ]
We made a promise, didn't we? No more closed doors... Ever. It is no one's fault-- [ but my own, she thinks, even after accepting her darkest dark side ] --so please. Please, don't blame yourself.
[A hug. This was not what Ardea had expected. She had thought for sure that her sister would agree on the blame thing, since it sounded so rational. Since the shadow made it sound rational. Why would Eirwen say something so different from what her own darkness said?
She's conflicted on what to do. How to act. It's with hesitation that Ardea finally lifts her arms to embrace her sister in return.]
Eirwen... I... what if it's not our fault... neither of ours? Maybe...
[She didn't want to tell her sister about this at all. Not about that day in the dark basement.]
What... if it was our parents? I don't remember it... but it was them who did this to us, who locked us away... why lock us up at all? Why not help you learn to use your powers and not hide them?
Ardea-- what? No, no, it's not their fault. They did what they thought was best! They were trying to protect countless others from getting hurt by me. My control... Ardea, after the accident, I couldn't control it.
[ Eirwen's dark side had been so angry at their parents. It had scared Eirwen herself, but... but she does have to wonder how different things had turned out if they hadn't shut the doors... But they were doing their best. They were, truly.
Eirwen... I... That day.... I heard you and our parents talking in the garden... I was wondering what you three were doing out there since it was so hot...
[Ardea chews on her lip.]
... the way father... the way he was talking about you... it sounded like when he talked about a problem in the kingdom...
[ He... hadn't sounded like that, had he? Suddenly, Eirwen feels a crushing weight on her chest. A problem in the kingdom. Was that all she'd been-- a problem? No. They loved her and Ardea. They were good parents, and good parents didn't say things like... that. ]
I'm sure he was just... frustrated, since I couldn't get a hold on my powers.
No... I know that tone of voice. He used it on me when I asked about you. And mother would get really quiet when I tried to talk about you... I know they were trying to do what was right, but... Eirwen, don't you think they could have done it differently? Found something or someone who could help you instead of locking you up?
What about the trolls? They could have helped... They could have told our parents how they could help you... I've met them, they would never have told father to lock you away!
[That might even appall them to have it suggested.]
Yes, but wouldn't locking you up make you more afraid? It scared me... it scared me because I thought I did something wrong... that you hated me. That it was punishment, and no one would tell me what I did.
[This is not something she even wanted to bring up.]
[ For a moment, Eirwen doesn't say anything. She doesn't even move. But soon enough, her shoulders curl inward, and she clings a little tighter to Ardea. She still says nothing.... but her shoulders shake, and she is crying. ]
[Ardea starts crying as well, holding Eirwen tightly.
It was awful, painful, and the guilt over thinking her parents could do something horrible ate at her... yet the relief she felt about finally telling Eirwen her fears made the pain lessen.
[ It still hurts, yes. But... but it's a little bit easier. A little. Having Ardea here helps more than Eirwen could ever describe. Holding her like this, being the one to cry on Ardea's shoulder... it's a new situation, and sort of scary.
Yet.... she feels a little calmer, somehow. After a moment, Eirwen pulls away, wiping her eyes and laughing a little breathlessly. ]
[ She lets out another little laugh, this time a little steadier. ]
If only a certain little sister hadn't bragged about how her older sister is a queen... [ Eirwen's definitely feeling a little better. There's a note of affectionate teasing there. ]
... We really can be anything we want here, can't we?
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Eirwen pulls Ardea into a hug, a tight one. She holds her close, as close as she can, and Eirwen's shaking so badly it comes through in her voice. ]
We made a promise, didn't we? No more closed doors... Ever. It is no one's fault-- [ but my own, she thinks, even after accepting her darkest dark side ] --so please. Please, don't blame yourself.
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She's conflicted on what to do. How to act. It's with hesitation that Ardea finally lifts her arms to embrace her sister in return.]
Eirwen... I... what if it's not our fault... neither of ours? Maybe...
[She didn't want to tell her sister about this at all. Not about that day in the dark basement.]
What... if it was our parents? I don't remember it... but it was them who did this to us, who locked us away... why lock us up at all? Why not help you learn to use your powers and not hide them?
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[ Eirwen's dark side had been so angry at their parents. It had scared Eirwen herself, but... but she does have to wonder how different things had turned out if they hadn't shut the doors... But they were doing their best. They were, truly.
Weren't they...? ]
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[Ardea chews on her lip.]
... the way father... the way he was talking about you... it sounded like when he talked about a problem in the kingdom...
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[ He... hadn't sounded like that, had he? Suddenly, Eirwen feels a crushing weight on her chest. A problem in the kingdom. Was that all she'd been-- a problem? No. They loved her and Ardea. They were good parents, and good parents didn't say things like... that. ]
I'm sure he was just... frustrated, since I couldn't get a hold on my powers.
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No... I know that tone of voice. He used it on me when I asked about you. And mother would get really quiet when I tried to talk about you... I know they were trying to do what was right, but... Eirwen, don't you think they could have done it differently? Found something or someone who could help you instead of locking you up?
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Ardea... I don't think there's anyone who has powers like I do. And it's too dangerous besides!
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[That might even appall them to have it suggested.]
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[ ... but even she sounds unsure now. ]
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[This is not something she even wanted to bring up.]
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I... I feel terrible thinking that way, Ardea...
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[Hesitantly she pulls her sister into a hug.]
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It was awful, painful, and the guilt over thinking her parents could do something horrible ate at her... yet the relief she felt about finally telling Eirwen her fears made the pain lessen.
Now all she had to do was help her sister cope.]
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Yet.... she feels a little calmer, somehow. After a moment, Eirwen pulls away, wiping her eyes and laughing a little breathlessly. ]
My... what behavior for a queen, honestly!
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You know, you're not a queen here... you can act however you want to.
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If only a certain little sister hadn't bragged about how her older sister is a queen... [ Eirwen's definitely feeling a little better. There's a note of affectionate teasing there. ]
... We really can be anything we want here, can't we?
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[Ardea nods.] Yes. I'm a gardener, you're a librarian... isn't it nice not to always be a queen and a princess?
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[ Her chest feels less tight now. Eirwen rests her forehead against her sister's. Talking like this... ]
Nicer than I ever thought I deserved, really. In even my wildest dreams, I was never not a queen.
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[Ardea gives her sister a soft smile.]
I like not being a princess. We're just like everyone else here. No more bowing, courtesies, having to practice manners all the time. It's so nice.
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[ But she returns the smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her sister's ear. ]
You get to be free.
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[Let's be free together.]
thread end?
No more closed doors--for real this time.
Yes!
Good. I'm glad.